1. Mojos and Self-Esteem

PART 1:

“Mojo” is a term used for the control someone has over another person’s life through knowing and using his or her weaknesses. A mojoer “pushes buttons” to get reactions. He manipulates people to get what he wants, regardless of the consequences.

Mojos will most likely work on people who have low self-esteem – lonely people needing friends and those who have no real opinion about them selves.

There are good and bad mojos. Bad mojos are most common. A bad mojo is one that does not allow a person to be free of emotions, feelings and decisions regarding his own life. The mojoer keeps a person under his control by offering him the things that will make him feel “happy”. A mojo can be utilized by any weakness a person has – like drugs, alcohol, sex or food – anything that will constantly keep the self-esteem low.

A good mojo is one that supports a person in his decision about himself, his life goals and ambitions. It’s a Mojo that lifts from “beneath the wings” to carry a person to greater heights.

Generally, there are two categories of mojoers; a negative mojoer is a person with a problem of insecurity. He may be a person who is power-hungry, wanting to control another’s life.

Unfortunately, some of the most powerful and devastating mojos are held by parents, – overbearing or over loving parents who want the best for their children. Most parents do this innocently, unaware of the negative results it will eventually cause.

Some parents feel their children should not have to face the experiences that make up life. How wrong they are! Our children must experience life with its successes and failures. The more they try and fail, the stronger they become unless they give up. With more strength comes survival.

Parents too often try to shelter their children, giving them everything they want and need. Sadly, they don’t realize the disservice they are doing the children in not allowing them to learn responsibility.

Each person must someday leave home and start a new life on their own. Parents must be supportive of their children as they attempt to face life with its challenges.

A positive mojoer is one who will accept a person “as he is,” and will try to influence that person in a positive manner. We can be our own best positive mojoers!

PART II:

Learn to recognize and avoid bad mojos. In order to do this, you must explore and learn to know yourself, realize your weaknesses and admit to them. When you recognize your own shortcomings, you can begin to deal with them. Work at changing yourself into a successful person, a step at a time. You may fall down, but don’t worry. Be ready to get back up with scraped knees. You’ll heal!

Discuss your hurts and bring to light those dark feelings of hate for a situation or person, then deal with it. Only at that point will you be able to say, “So what!” regardless of what others think or say about you. You will be able to smile with them as they tease you. You will understand that they have hang-ups and feel the need to try and put you down.

No one can put you down but God; and He lifts you up. You can put yourself down by allowing yourself to forget who you really are and reacting negatively to the teasing or bad jokes. Be above it, and the jokesters will tire and go somewhere else.

As you are able to understand and accept yourself as you are, you will be able to give of yourself to others. Whether the person on the receiving end accepts or rejects your gift doesn’t matter. Giving of yourself and your talents with the right motive brings fulfillment to your life.

As you become able to love yourself as you really are, you will be able to forgive yourself. It is only then that you will not spend your lifetime trying to be what others want you to be. You will be free to be yourself and know that God loves you.

The problem is no longer yours. You can share what you have found with those who would try to control you with mojos. Be willing to share your secret with them but also be ready to have it rejected.

The most important fact to remember about loving yourself is to learn to love others as you do yourself. If it is truly love, then you can accept others with their faults and shortcomings, their strengths and weaknesses, knowing that you have them too.

Don’t strive too much to change. We try to change our bodies and our looks. We change our habits and our actions; sometimes for the better and sometimes not. But we cannot change our heart or soul, and that’s where real change must occur.

We are powerless over changes on the inside. Only God’s love and His spirit of peace and joy can change your heart and soul. You must allow Him to do it, because He will not force His will upon you. He will ask you, but He will never force you.

God changes a heart, soul or spirit. You change your mind, ways and attitudes, all dictated by your new heart and spirit of love. Be willing to allow God to change you! His Spirit dwells within you if you allow it. When this happens, no one can have a mojo on you, and you will begin to know the true meaning of self-esteem.